When I heard of Gospel Roads I knew God planned for me to come across it. I knew the Lord was pushing to be in my life and because I wanted Him to be in my life, I decided to go. At the beginning of the year when I committed myself to Jesus, He said, "Let Me love you." Although it didn't make much sense to me, this phrase always came up whenever I prayed.
After Gospel Roads, I came to a good understanding of what Jesus meant when He said, "Let Me love you." I realized that He told me to let Him love me, because He wanted me to love Him. During the retreat I found myself willing to give even more when I felt so tired already. I found myself carrying another 100-pound-sack of peas when I couldn't anymore, folding even more clothes when my hands started to hurt, playing more soccer with the kids when my body was already sore, talking to the elderly woman even more when it felt awkward already, making everyone else grab food first even when my stomach was growling already. I found myself loving even more when I did not want to. I could not stop myself from loving, because Jesus did not stop loving me. I realized that when I allow Jesus to love me then I allow myself to love Him back easily. Nothing made it hard for me to love Jesus when I knew of His goodness and the amount of love He had for me. I have never felt so much peace and joy in a situation that I did not want to be in. I realized that true joy and peace only come when we surrender our hearts to Jesus.
The retreat reminded me that there is nothing to lose when we surrender to God. Yes, we lose our pride but what is this compared to what we gain from it? It is crazy to think that when we surrender to love, we are rewarded with the actual source of love, Jesus. He is capable of giving us anything we can have but He chooses to give Himself. How humble! Being reminded of this, all I could really say to myself was, "how much more proof do you need to know that Jesus really loves you??!!"
Coming to Gospel Roads I realized that I desired to live a life like the retreat - in mission. I desired to live a life in obedience to God. I desired to live a life in charity. I desired to have a heart that gives. Why? Because that whole week that I lived in charity, my heart made no room for anything but love. In letting Jesus love me, I learned that the deepest desire of my heart was the sole purpose of my being; to love Him back.
And so, "Here I am, Lord, It's you that I seek. Here I am, Lord, I've come to hear you speak" (Speak, Alyssa Guiterrez).
Totus tuus.
[This reflection is written by Gail Boquiren, who went to Toronto for Salesian Gospel Roads this summer.]
After Gospel Roads, I came to a good understanding of what Jesus meant when He said, "Let Me love you." I realized that He told me to let Him love me, because He wanted me to love Him. During the retreat I found myself willing to give even more when I felt so tired already. I found myself carrying another 100-pound-sack of peas when I couldn't anymore, folding even more clothes when my hands started to hurt, playing more soccer with the kids when my body was already sore, talking to the elderly woman even more when it felt awkward already, making everyone else grab food first even when my stomach was growling already. I found myself loving even more when I did not want to. I could not stop myself from loving, because Jesus did not stop loving me. I realized that when I allow Jesus to love me then I allow myself to love Him back easily. Nothing made it hard for me to love Jesus when I knew of His goodness and the amount of love He had for me. I have never felt so much peace and joy in a situation that I did not want to be in. I realized that true joy and peace only come when we surrender our hearts to Jesus.
The retreat reminded me that there is nothing to lose when we surrender to God. Yes, we lose our pride but what is this compared to what we gain from it? It is crazy to think that when we surrender to love, we are rewarded with the actual source of love, Jesus. He is capable of giving us anything we can have but He chooses to give Himself. How humble! Being reminded of this, all I could really say to myself was, "how much more proof do you need to know that Jesus really loves you??!!"
Coming to Gospel Roads I realized that I desired to live a life like the retreat - in mission. I desired to live a life in obedience to God. I desired to live a life in charity. I desired to have a heart that gives. Why? Because that whole week that I lived in charity, my heart made no room for anything but love. In letting Jesus love me, I learned that the deepest desire of my heart was the sole purpose of my being; to love Him back.
And so, "Here I am, Lord, It's you that I seek. Here I am, Lord, I've come to hear you speak" (Speak, Alyssa Guiterrez).
Totus tuus.
[This reflection is written by Gail Boquiren, who went to Toronto for Salesian Gospel Roads this summer.]